The following is a real text message exchange between two ex-Wall Street guys, call them Roy and Steve. Parental discretion is advised.
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Steve: I saw that. Do they have a case?
Roy: Usually I would say no case for litigation against underwriters. But I think in this case, it's a good shot.
Steve: Why were those pensions buying MF Bonds?
Roy: I think it was both stock and bonds.
Steve: Yeah. How do you get to run a small pension and stuff them with bonds of a futures broker? Crazy!
Roy: Who the hell knows what and why these idiots buy?! It's a plumbers union too! LOL
Steve: Yeah I saw that. I wonder who advised them.
Roy: That's another Wall Street scam. Those so-called "pension consultants".
Steve: Yup. The consultant should be the one getting sued. And the guy that runs the pension. How do you get a gig like that anyway?
Roy: Write useless academic papers on "Contingent Immunization" and "Equity Duration". That works fine.
Roy: I hate pension-related stuff. So f***ing boring.
Steve: Yeah. But steady bucks. What the f**k is "Contingent Immunization"?
Roy: Yes, I agree -- steady bucks for sure.
Roy: If you're hot-looking 30-yr-old pension wanna-be, you've got it made.
Roy: All these massively geeky pension fund guys will drool all over you.
Steve: How true. Did I tell you my [large British bank in NYC] pension story?
Roy: You might have, I don't recall.
Steve: When we worked at [the large British bank in NYC] a [large California teachers pension fund] consultant asked dealers for proposals for inflation protection for the pension.
Steve: So I busted my ass to put together a structured note linked to oil and silver. Inflation protection.
Steve: The consultant almost fell asleep during my presentation.
Roy: HA! LOL
Steve: Then the consultant said - yeah, Bear, GS, MS all pitching similar product. Why [the large British bank in NYC]?
Steve: I figured it was all over then. We can't compete with other dealers. So I decided to give him a tour of the trading floor and send him on the way.
Steve: He then saw the hot blonde on the FX desk, remember her?
Roy: Oh yeah. A while ago.
Steve: So the consultant goes - I like girls. Then he wanted an intro, because without it he won't do the structured note with us.
Steve: And there was no way I could call the pension directly - I had to go through the asshole pension consultant.
Steve: Later I found out he gave the business to another dealer. I guess he got an introduction he wanted there.
Roy: What a piece of s**t that guy.
Steve: I want to be a pension consultant... I can stuff MF Global bonds into the plumbers pension fund and then sue GS for the losses.
Steve: Because they should have known Corzine was loading up on Italian debt. And then have GS introduce me to hot girls.
Roy: LOL. Great story. Well I got to go.
Steve: Alright man. Talk to you soon.
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